Every year, I have the same three New Year’s Resolutions. Had ’em for 30 years; the same three.
I resolve to:
Lose weight, at least twenty pounds
Exercise every single day
I figure, this way, as a life-long non-smoker, I’ll succeed in keeping 33 percent of my resolutions. What a resolute guy that makes me.
I actually sort of hate New Year’s resolutions. They seem to me part of an entire program of self-improvement that just doesn’t interest me. I like myself. I enjoy being fat, indolent and self-indulgent. I could just resolve to do a whole bunch of things I was planning to do anyway–see a lot of movies! eat a lot of chocolate! get into pointless political arguments on the internet!–but then it doesn’t feel like a resolution. I plan to learn French this year! I’m going to climb one of the local mountains! I’m going to cook every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook! Not.
I could say things like ‘I’m going to be a better Christian.’ And I should do that, try to be kinder to people. So this year, I’m going to add just one. That’ll bring me up to four. I’m going to forgive one guy. He’s a rotten guy, and he treated me very badly, and I don’t like him and really don’t want to forgive him his trespasses against me. But I’m going to. Wish me luck.
The thing is, forgiving is so hard. Easily the toughest of all commandments. And this person really did, deliberately and without cause, try to hurt me. I’ve never had that experience before. I’m a pretty easy-going person, I don’t really make enemies. And harboring resentment over it isn’t doing me any good. Time to forgive. Boy is that going to be hard.
So let me add one more, for five. I’m going to have a good year writing. I will finish two plays, a novel and a book of non-fiction. That’s four big works, done in one year.
That gives me five big resolutions for 2013. And it’s in writing, now, on the intertubes. If I fail, if I fall short, I hope some of y’all will get on my case about it. I am going to lose weight, exercise, and stop smoking. I am going to forgive a certain person. And I am going to write four things. It’s going to be a good year.